Dystopian Dinner Theatre
Al Mac’s Bar & Grill
2481 Kingston Road
Cliffside Plaza has everything for the modern shopper. A Rexall; Scotiabank; Dollarama; dentist; Subway Subs; that big canary No Frills; and, most importantly, a dive bar, Al Mac’s Bar & Grill.
Al Mac’s façade sits deceptively docile among those respectable retail chains. Think of a mountain lion staring at you from the bushes before it drags you in. But once you’re inside, it reminds me a bit of a modern Gin Lane by William Hogarth: fiesta, food, fun, and fighting.
If all the world’s a stage then this is dystopian dinner theatre. Best show starts Friday and Saturday nights.
The Nitty-Gritty:
Jacksoul Poster: No
Price: Reasonable. $4.50 domestic bottles. $3.75 12 oz draught
Service: Friendly and fast. Bartender was quick with a drink and a story of the carnage called her love life. Which seemed to involve all four regulars sitting at the bar.
Décor:
Scarborough Southwestern
Scarborough is big and full of many distinct areas with their own style and culture. Keeping up with its dive neighbour, Chick-N-Burger, it dresses in a beer rep ensemble accented by ironic signage. I think the true irony lies in the fact that their real function is to hide the fist craters in the dry wall.
Washroom facilities:
Like a tandem bicycle, it can handle two men at once but it’s really awkward.
Cleanliness:
Spotless. Except for the spots on the butt of the guy that mooned me.
Games/Amusements:
Billiards, karaoke, jukebox, TVs galore, catfights, fistfights, and the invitation to partake. (I chose to settle my differences with a dance off.)
Value-adds:
Earth Day Celebration
I visited on Earth Day and a woman celebrated The Three R’s by reusing her beer bottle as a weapon and striking a young lady in the head with it.
Ladies, there are men in uniform.
Police that is. They show up to Earth Day celebrations.
Man, this lady should be in uniform.
A bartender who weighed little more than helium broke up a knife fight and administered first aid to one combatant’s stab wound. Everyone survived.
Haute couture
When the stylish enjoy a Campari in Milan’s osterias, they wear Gucci or Versace. When they sip fine wine in Paris cafes, it’s Dior or Hermes. For a cold Blue in the dives of Scarborough, it’s a Rock Eagle t-shirt. Available a few doors down at Kingston Fashion.
Great Dinner Theatre Fare
While wearing your Rock Eagle T-Shirt and watching all the action, be sure to try a burger—big and tasty. Pizza is pretty good also.
Suggested musical accompaniment:
“Fiesta” By The Pogues
The Last Call:
Dive Bar Mike recommends this bar for anyone banned from the nearby Tara Inn or Victorian Monkey.