Tell me about your childhood. Now.
Eastenders
1232 Danforth Ave.
Like the British soap opera of the same name, Eastenders is about family, broken relationships, and getting looped.
Indeed, after yet another Q&A to establish if I were a cop or not, the regulars pulled me into discussions about their better halves, half-siblings, and halfway houses. Having experience with two-thirds of those items, I was expected to share my own anecdotes. Whether I wanted to or not.
If, like me, you’re a child of the pinball era, you’ll be happy to know they have a machine and a resident pinball wizard who will challenge you to a game. I let him win two out of three.
Plus, for you vinylphiles, there’s some pretty groovy wax on the walls.
The Nitty-Gritty:
Jacksoul Poster: No
Price: $3.75 per bottle
Service: Friendly. Fast
Décor:
Maury Mauve
I watched a couple argue loudly about paternity: she said it was his, he denied it. Then as fast as it started, the quarrel ended amicably with both sides agreeing to disagree pending DNA test results. At that point, the proud owner told me he specially chose mauve paint for the walls because it helps calm nerves and maintain peace. After that revelation, as a Fox29 viewer, I could only name the wall colour Maury Mauve.
Washroom facilities:
Paradoxical Pisser: It conforms to cleanliness standards while wearing an anti-conformist message.
Cleanliness:
Clean. But a woman pointed out some unsettling graffiti on the patio:
Unsettling because Anne Marie’s mother wrote it.
Games/Amusements:
ATM, TV, jukebox, coin-op pool table, pinball competitions, and watching melodramas unfold.
Value-adds:
Polyester Vinyl Collection:
This Tee Cees album cover is a great snapshot of two big 1970’s fads—disco and the high-protein Ear Diet.
What The Beatles were to the world of the 1960s, The Athenians of Toronto were to the world of the 1970s. The world within a one-block radius of Pape and Danforth, that is.
Factoid Alert:
Don’t choke on your souvlaki, but Discogs says that this album, “San Skoteiniazei,” goes for between $800 and $1,000 in mint condition. Make an offer to the owner.
Taste the snacks your parents ate as children.
Literally. I think these went stale around 1967.
Very Popular Patio
It’s always standing room only
Suggested musical accompaniment:
“ΕΛΑ ΑΓΑΠΗ ΜΟΥ ΚΟΝΤΑ” by The Athenians of Toronto
The Last Call:
Dive Bar Mike recommends this bar for vinylphiles, trash TV fans, and those who misspent their youth and quarters at downtown pinball arcades.