A clash of eastern cultures
My Bar & Restaurant
936 Gerrard St. East
When I think of My Bar, the word “east” comes to mind: it’s on Gerrard St. East; it’s in the east end; it’s got both a Cape Breton and an Indian theme; and, it has a beast that lives in the basement. (Well, “beast” has “east” in it.)
Notice the charming lady in the bottom-left-hand corner of the photo saluting my presence.
The Nitty-Gritty:
Jacksoul Poster: No
Price: Cheap: $3.50 domestic bottled beer
Service: Friendly. Chatty. Efficient.
Décor:
Shabby Chic Fusion
Shabby Chic Fusion is characterized by pastels, distressed furnishings and a fusion of cultures. Plenty of distress and fusion here: a faded smiling Buddha, wrinkled Cape Breton flag, wobbly chairs, scratched tables, cracked flooring, and a rickety stairwell. All of it basking in the murmuring glow of pastel green.
Washroom facilities:
OCD paradise.
Feel a compulsion to clean? Cleaning products are thoughtfully left all over the basement for you.
The ladies room says it with flowers. I think they’re saying remember to flush.
Cleanliness:
Clean. How could it not be with the cleaning products scattered all around the basement?
Games/Amusements:
$1 coin-op pool table, juke box, and, best of all, listening to drunks speaking in tongues and understanding each other.
Value-adds:
The Power of Diversity
You’ll notice a Laughing Buddha facing a Cape Breton Flag on the opposite wall. When you look back and forth at both a few times a certain otherworldly feeling comes over you. I think it’s the power of diversity. Or maybe it’s just that you get dizzy from turning your head so many times.
Psychoanalytical Insight:
Stand between these adjacent images. Confused? Anxious? Turned on? Relax. Freud called it the “Madonna-whore Complex.”
On-site Fitness Centre:
The basement is used as a boxercise dojo. According to the bartender, each fist crater you punch burns about 270 calories.
Horror Film Buff Heaven
Right after taking my seat at the bar, I heard a loud growl coming from the basement.
I was shaking as leaden footsteps pounded up the stairs. Then appeared a giant shadowy figure. OMG! It’s the monster from “The Thing!!!”
He crossed the floor, ponied up to the bar and looked at me closely. In all the fear and excitement I almost pooped my Underoos.
Suddenly, he asked what everyone was drinking and bought us a round. I fainted with relief.
Suggested musical accompaniment:
“Jumpin’ Jack Flash” by Ananda Shankar
The Last Call:
Dive Bar Mike recommends this bar for OCD sufferers, horror film lovers, fitness enthusiasts, cheap beer fans, and anyone who just endured nearby Gerrard Square.