What happens in The Flamingo, stays in The Flamingo.
The Flamingo Restaurant
2104 Danforth Ave.
The Flamingo seemed like a pretty friendly bar. Except that a guy they called “House” kept staring at me. Clearly his mother didn’t teach him that staring is rude. But, as I found out from a whispering regular, his mother also didn’t teach him that assault and battery were in bad taste.
Apparently, he was recently released after doing time for using some poor bastard’s head as a speed bag. I decided to let him stare.
So, like Las Vegas’ legendary Flamingo Hotel, this place had a few folks who considered the law optional: a little drug deal here, a little hustle there. But despite these activities, it had an upbeat vibe, friendly service, and interesting characters.
Shockingly, no one asked if I were a cop.
Some East York Eminem types who’d come “downtown” were
bragging about their “bitches, bling, and blunts.” I found them
educational. Hip-hop culture has come a long way since the
sixth grade, when I first heard “Rapper’s Delight” by The
Sugarhill Gang.
Another touch of Las Vegas was the gambling around the pool table. I noticed that House, the speed bag specialist, kept winning the money even when he lost the match. Again, just like Vegas, house always wins.
The Nitty-Gritty:
Jacksoul Poster: No
Price: Cheap. $3.75 domestic bottles.
Service: Friendly. Frightened.
Décor:
Toronto Reformation.
Classic Toronto Tavern Tudor. The legendary Toronto Tavern Tudor Salesman never ceases to amaze me. See the Linsmore Tavern and Happy Day’s.
Washroom facilities:
Leaders in developing low-cost, environmentally woke waterless urinals.
Cleanliness:
Ultra clean. Except for House’s gambling.
Games/Amusements:
TVs, jukebox, free pool, gambling on pool, and watching East York Eminem types enjoy a night on the town before their sentencing.
Value-adds:
Emotional Comfort
Hug $3
Strong Bullpen
A pitch is $13 for 60 ft 6 inches or $6.50 for 30 ft 3 inches.
Suggested musical accompaniment:
“Mack the Knife” by Bobby Darin at The Flamingo Hotel